When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Siren's Song
Sunday, April 06, 2003
To my dearest Eponine,
Who loved enough to lose, and lost all for that one moment of love.
Eponine stole my heart the moment I read Les Miserables. It's an often quoted line, that she was "a rose in misery". She loved Marius even though the feeling was not mutual, hoping that one day he'd love her. She even helped him get to cosette, whom he really loved. This may seem an utterly stupid thing to do, but I'll love her more for it - for the selflessness she displayed, and for her undying hope.
She died on the barricades, saving the one she loved. For that short brief moment, he held her in his arms, and she died content with the little she had. Whoever said "Love is not for thieves" is an emotional imbecile.
On My Own Deborah Gibson
And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to
Without a home without a friend
Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
I can make believe he's here
Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world would go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own.
How I savour this kind of sweet sweet sorrow... Love without reciprocation. Love without gain. Delicious.
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too
But what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe
What tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know
Doesn't really know
(Chorus)
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone
I'll be gone
(Chorus)
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of
What are you thinking of?
(Chorus (3X)
Has Shengrong every asked himself these questions?
"Please love me or I'll be gone..."
Have I done the right thing by letting him go?
It's the fairest ending for him. I guess. Who am I to keep him with shackles? Yet, why do I have feel as though I've lost a part of me? Losing something that belongs to you, whether you like it or not, you'll still a sense of loss. Because he once was yours. Would I come to the stage when I cry out:
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
I don't want to. Yet pain and sadness is all that I can feel. Happiness always appear to be too airy-fairy, too unreal. Pain is real. Pain is life.
She's taking her time making up the reasons
To justify all the hurt inside
Guess she knows from the smile
and the look in their eyes
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one
They're saying, "Mamma never loved her much"
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from human affection"
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right
kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him
She's saying
[chorus:]
I would fly to the moon & back if
you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?
She can't remember a time when she felt needed
If love was red then she was colour blind
All her friends they've been tried for treason
And crimes that were never defined
She's saying, "Love is like a barren place,
And reaching out for human faith is
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"
So baby's gonna take a dive and
Push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging
All her hopes on the stars
What a pleasant dream
Just saying
[chorus ]
(hold on... hold on...)
Mamma never loved her much
And Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shys away from human affection
But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right
kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him
Just saying
[chorus twice ]
I know it's sick, but I wish someone knows me like this song...
